Notes
by lowlaury
Summary: She keeps finding those notes in her locker, and she can't help liking them a little too much. But it doesn't matter because they'll never find out, right? - BeckJadeAndre/Jandreck triangle. However, because of me being me, there's more Bade than Jandré.


**This is for _OhsnapitzJess_. Because she really likes Jandré :P But because I can't help the Bade, I made this into kind of a triangle ;) But unfortunately, that still doesn't make Victorious or any of the characters mine. Phooey...**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em>There is someone out there, caring for you more than you think and the way you deserve.<em>

The first time Jade found one of those mysterious notes in her locker, she simply crumpled it up and tossed it in the next trash can, not really thinking about who it might have been from. And of course she didn't even consider telling Beck about it.

_Because he wouldn't care. _It was painful to think about it, but it was true. Jade didn't like the thought of what their relationship – what _they_ – had become, but seeing the truth was inevitable.

Every _single_ day, when he greeted her casually in the morning and his lips briefly brushed hers (because, come on, it was what everyone was expecting them to do), and the lack of passion - the feeling of how _numb_ everything had become - was just overwhelming, it reminded her of how _ohsofabulous_ the old times had been compared to this. It was as if their old, lovey-dovey selves were slowly dying and there was no medicine in the world that could save them. _Where did the butterflies go?_

Still, none of them had dared to speak of _the b word_ yet. And to be honest, they weren't really thinking of it, either. Because they still loved each other – it was just that _the fire_ was gone.

So Jade didn't even grant that stupid note in her locker the slightest bit of attention and simply ignored it (even though the words it held were what her heart was longing for _Beck _to say).

. . .

_Every day._ Every day in the past two weeks she had found one of those white little notes, neatly folded, in her locker. The first couple of times she had read them, but they had found their way in the garbage right afterwards. Of course she had been wondering who they were from (Sinjin? No, she didn't expect him to have enough brains to write those sweet and poetic notes), but they didn't affect her enough to really care.

But after a while, a little smile was playing on her lips whenever she read a new note from her secret admirer and she started to keep them. One by one they wandered in her make-up bag, put way safely, for no one but her supposed to see.

_Every day_ she made sure to be alone when she opened her locker for the first time in the morning, because she didn't want anyone to know. Especially not Beck. _What would he think of her hungering for affectionate notes from some unknown person? _It would hurt him. And it also hurt her. It hurt her that she was _happy_ about those notes, that they were making her feel more loved than her boyfriend did. _She shouldn't feel that way._

So she made sure he would never find out.

. . .

_Every morning. _Every morning in the past two weeks he had went to school half an hour early, just to drop another note in her locker. (_Every evening_ he sat at his desk, a pile of white slips of paper in front of him, thinking about what to write on the next note, what to write to make her _happy_, to see this special smile on her face, the one only _he_ saw. He, only he, not even Beck [he knew she was hiding this from him]. It was his, only _his_.)

And _every morning,_ when she sneaked to her locker before Beck arrived (they used to go to school together, but it had been ages since the last time he saw them arriving together. _Something was wrong_.), he would be hiding in a corner, watching her, to see that tiny smile forming on her lips before she put his (_hishishis. _He loved the thought of it.) note away in her little make-up bag.

He knew how creepy this had to seem to anyone else (not that they knew, but if they _would_), but he didn't care. To make her happy by writing her sweet little notes was probably as far as he would get with his feelings for her. (Because _she_ wasn't his. She was _his_. His best friend's. _Beck's._)

And he just couldn't hide those feelings anymore; he didn't know where they came from in the first place, but they had grown too strong to be held back.

The notes were his only chance to let her know that there was _someone else_. Beck and Jade had been dating for three years. _Three. _The Golden Couple breaking up for good was as unlikely as Sikowitz giving up on coconuts (though he had been noticing _the change _in their relationship, too, of course. He wasn't dumb.)

So _Beck&Jade_ being inseparable, and also Beck being his best friend, was making it simply _impossible_ to – _gulp_ – tell Jade about his feelings the normal way. Or to come out of the anonymity. _God, what would Beck say? What would Jade say? What would **everyone** say?_

So he made sure they would never find out.

. . .

It had been four weeks since _the note thing_ had started. Jade was at Beck's RV (_oh, what a rare occasion_), and way too familiar silence was filling the small room. The only noises came from the TV in the corner, which was playing old Full House reruns.

It was a stupid coincidence, nothing more, that Beck was looking for a pen to scribble down some things on his grocery list, while Jade was in the bathroom for only two minutes, and that her bag happened to be closest to him. It was also a unfortunate coincidence that he mistook her make-up bag, which was overflowing with the little white notes by now, for her pencil case.

Startled and without really thinking about it, he fished a handful of notes out of it and let his eyes wander over the neat handwriting of each. There was never more than one or two sentences on each, but it was enough to make him feel _hurt. And jealous. And alarmed. Was Jade cheating on him? _Knitting his eyebrows, he went through as many notes as possible, hoping to find a hint on _whywhywhy_ Jade had them, before she came back.

Realizing what he had found (_no, oh no_), she stopped dead in her tracks, staring at him and the little white papers in his hands.

"What are these?" he asked and the _pain_ in his voice was ripping her heart apart.

"Nothing," she lied. _He knows. Oh God, he knows._

"Who are they from, Jade?"

She gritted her teeth. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" The reproach in his eyes is killing her. _She knew it was wrong to keep them. To like them. To let them make her happy._

"No," she replied, and decided to tell the truth. He deserved it. "someone puts them in my locker every day."

He stares at her (_so reproachfully. So hurt._) "And you keep them?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I like them." Her voice was weak. Vulnerable. And so _not_ Jade-like.

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes before he spoke again. "And you never tried to find out who they're from?"

"No."

"Why?" _whywhywhy. _It was all he could think about.

"Because," she said, trying hard to hold back the tears. _You don't cry, you're Jade West. _"because I was afraid to fall in love with someone else. I don't wanna have to choose. I only want to love _you_, Beck, and I don't want to share that love. Yeah, so maybe I kept the notes. But only because _they_ told me the stuff I actually wanted to hear from _you_."

There was a long pause, in which they just stared at each other, their eyes full of grief and regrets and _ohwherearetheolddays?_, until Beck stood up and engulfed her in a tight hug.

"What have we become, Jade?" he asked and his voice was barely more than a faint whisper.

She closed her eyes, twining her arms around him, and whispered back, "I don't know, Beck. I don't know."

He loosened his grip around her and cupped her face in his hands, looking her straight in the eye. "Do you still love me?"

"Of course I do," she said, her eyes glistening with tears, yet she would do anything but let them fall. "How about you? Do you still love me?"

He gave her a tiny smile. "What do you think? Of course I still love you, Jade."

Her lips curled into a little smile, which he softly captured with his own lips. And then it was finally back. _The feeling. _The passion. The butterflies. For the first time in months a kiss actually felt like _a kiss_ and not like a way to prove the world how _ohsoperfect _the Golden Couple's relationship still was. _Who would have thought him finding out about the notes would be that good?_

It was also the first time in months she spent the night at his RV.

. . .

_Something had changed. _He knew that the moment he saw Beck and Jade arriving at school together, entering the hallway holding hands. Jealousy arose in his insides. _Why did they look happy again? He_ wanted to be the one who made her happy. Only he. _No, he shouldn't think that way. _But he couldn't help it.

From that day on that special smile of hers was no longer his. It had returned to Beck.

He kept sending the notes. _Every day._ But to her, they didn't seem as important anymore. Well, she read them – _on occasion_. But she didn't keep them anymore, she didn't smile at them anymore – at least not the way she had used to. And whenever Beck was with her when she found the notes, she would simply toss them in the trash without even unfolding them. And Beck would watch the procedure with that (_disgusting,ohsodisgusting_) content and happy look on his face before gripping her tight and placing a kiss on her temple as they strolled off as the _ohsohappy_ couple they used to be and now were again. _Didn't she need him anymore?_

From that day on he also started hating lunch. Because lunch meant he had to sit with _them_. Seeing _them_ being happy. Seeing _her_ being happy with _him_. _They used to be best friends but oh, how he hated him now. _

It wasn't as if he hadn't been in that situation before, of course. But that had been _before _he started realizing his feelings for her and when _Beck&Jade_ started becoming_ Beck & Jade_.

So now he had to deal with hiding his feelings _and_ seeing _his girl_ all lovey-dovey (well, as lovey-dovey as their relationship would get. They still weren't _that kind_ of couple) with his best friend at the same time. _Why, oh why had it have to be her of all girls? Why the one he couldn't get under any circumstances?_

But he wouldn't give up. He would continue being a part of her daily life, even if it was only through those stupid little white notes, in which he poured out his heart to her. Only that she would never know. Or would she?

. . .

It was two weeks later when she _did_ find out. Or rather _they_.

As usual, he was at school half an hour early to put the note in her locker, so no one would see him. Little did he know that that day, Beck and Jade would arrive early as well, because Sikowitz wanted to talk about some acting thing with them.

Too bad he only noticed them right after he had shoved another white note through the air slit on her locker. Both were standing a few feet away, gaping at him, hands still entwined. Standing glued to the spot, he just stared back and didn't know what to do next. _They've seen everything. They know._

"André?" Beck asked, startled. "_You?_"

"I-I," he stuttered, scanning the hallway for help, for any excuse, that would help him out of this misery. But instead Jade caught his eye. She was staring at him, not in the usual bitter Jade-way, but in a softer, yet kind of pitiful way. _Did the notes still mean something to her? Was there even a chance that she might like him back?_

"I thought you were my best friend," Beck said, not sounding mad, but _disappointed _(which was even worse).

"I'm sorry," André replied. And he meant it. Yet he couldn't help what he was feeling, it was like a curse. _Why her?_

As Jade hadn't said a word since their 'discovery' and was still staring at him, Beck suddenly remembered her words. _Because I was afraid to fall in love with someone else. I don't wanna have to choose._

Did she have to choose now?

Alarmed, he glanced at her, squeezing her hand. "Jade?"

She didn't answer. Her eyes wandered from André to her locker to Beck and the other way round. _André? Why André? This was impossible. _She hadn't wanted to know. Because now she had _t__he option_.

Ironically, if she had discovered this a few weeks earlier, she probably would have thought about it for a while and maybe, _maybe _she had chosen André. But it were _his _notes that had helped her and Beck getting back to normal and made her decision easy. (_Too easy?_)

"I'm sorry, André," she eventually said (_and she really was sorry_). "But I belong to Beck."

André nodded and forced a smile. "I didn't expect anything else."

. . .

Things were quite awkward at first. At lunch, in classes, when they were hanging out with the group. _AwkwardAwkwardAwkward. _But it got better, eventually, when all of them just acted as if nothing had ever happened.

Though André couldn't simply erase his feelings (_he envied Beck ohsomuch_), and Jade couldn't simply forget the 'magic' of his notes (_she had loved reading them ohsumuch_), and Beck couldn't help but keep an eye on his best friend (_he hated the thought of losing her ohsomuch_).

But they always remained _Beck&Jade_ and _André_, like it had been all along, and that would never change.

However, every now and then, André couldn't help but put a little white note in Jade's locker. Because he knew she liked them.

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><p><strong>I think it's a little weird at some parts... I hope you still got everything. I was a little 'experimenting'. <strong>

**So, tell me what you think please :)**


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